Thursday, February 10, 2005

A Back Rub

My husband, D the teacher, popped home this morning during his conference hour to play a little with M, our daughter. While they rolled a ball back and forth, wildly I might add, he rubbed my back as I sat next to him - I was like his pet cat. In a good way. I needed that rub, being that A, my middle son, woke up in the foulest mood and tried my patience to the limit, ending up late for school. I had to really work at not getting angry at him, to be as positive as I could, as I got him dressed, fed and brushed, all the while playing referee to break up the skirmishes. I cannot tell you how nerve-rattling it is when he bothers M because she SCREECHES as a response. Try hearing that several times each half-hour. Whenever the two are at home together.

The back rub was good.

One other thing I'm doing to alleviate the stress, to raise the positive energy in our household, is something called meridian therapy or EFT - it's fascinating, strangely and amazingly effective at getting rid of negative thoughts. A story about the method - last year, I started teaching legal research to paralegal students at our local community college. Now, I know research. I lived and breathed it during my lawyering years - it was the only thing I loved about being a lawyer. At the minimum, I should have been comfortable explaining the concepts. A little nervousness about being in front of people was expected.

However, because it was a such a tough course to begin my teaching career with, I ended up mid-year with confused students and a massive case of panic attacks when lecturing in front of the class. I was seriously facing NOT getting a second chance to teach at the rate I was going. And I desperately wanted a second chance, and a third, and a fourth...etc. I wanted to teach - I liked it. It fit me and our lifestyle.

Not only were the panic attacks killing me and my future in teaching, the anxiety the rest of the week was so intense that I wasn't enjoying my "time off." I turned to my former grief counselor and she turned me on to positive energy. Silly at first. Tapping on parts of your body and saying things while you do it, even if you don't believe what you're saying, was a bit...ridiculous. But, as you probably suspected, the method worked. The panics ended entirely. It was the craziest thing, miraculous even. I stopped believing the negative and tuned into the positive and I was able to get that second chance at teaching. And a third.

So, I'm at it again. This time I'm hoping the negative reaction to the kids will go away, that their reaction to my negativity will go away.

That life will be the best it can be.

4 comments:

dayna said...

Okay, I need that. So I just tap on my body and say....? Something to change my beliefs? Sounds like you have a beatiful family.

Denise said...

I need that too, that tapping thing. I'm going to start first thing tomorrow with my thighs.

Adriana Bliss said...

Yes, Denise, Dayna...exactly! "Even though I jiggle where I shouldn't [tap, tap, tap], I completely love and accept myself [tap, tap, tap]. I choose to not feel the jiggle [tap, tap, tap] nor will I ask my husband if I am fat [tap, tap, tap]."

dayna said...

LOL. Well, its worth a shot hey Denise?